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Yes, now I have another section of books to shelve. Except the paperbacks aren't static so every week I'm working in multiple sections. Sigh. I'm starting to question how much I want this job.

In half an hour I leave for the first retreat of the RCIA year. I get to finally meet the person I'm sponsoring. So nervous.

I need something good to happen. Just a little something.

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Listening to the new Tori Amos Album, this cover chosen just because of the cigarette in her hand. I like the photos and their enigmatic captions. Can't wait to hear her in November. I need that experience, even more now. I might be better if I could go to a concert and sing in the waving crowd. If only Nine Inch Nails would come play here.

The retreat this morning went well, even though my person wasn't there. I can tell how much my time in the Church has impacted me just by the way I behaved this morning. Approaching someone to talk, being open and honest in my words. Feeling comfortable. Severla people who were sponsors two years ago are back, and Mike told me this morning how happy he was that I had chosen to do this because he felt that I brought something special to the group.

I do what I can.

Talked with my mother some this afternoon about the news, the words and the fears.About the draft, and what it was like to know so many people who cam back so psychologically damaged by war. I think she is afraid too.

Sometimes it is nice to spend an afternoon like this, alone, grey sky and rain outside, just the computer, the stereo, and my hands. I need this space.

"Strange little girl, where are you going?"

almond joy

Lots of people in my living room, drinking Shiner and watching football. It's kind of nice to be around people and it wouldn't be tense at all except for the two people I want nothing to do with. It's humorous, she always put up a big show about telling people the truth and speaking out, but when it comes to me she is afraid. Oh, she is afraid. I laugh and laugh, and when she pisses me off I think about dropping a cup of water in her lap or describing her hypocritical cowardice in front of all the people she tries to impress. Because I've realized she is hollow to the core, it's all false with her. So strange. Once I was taken in and believed her to be my friend.

Eating almonds and drinking ginger ale in my bedroom, perhaps I shall do my anthropology labs. Must be up so early for the Rite of Welcoming tomorrow. Almonds have vitamin E, calcium and iron. They are my new favorite food.

I have not watched the news all day, for the first time in eleven days.

This cover of "I don't like Mondays" is fabulous.