Oct. 18th, 2004

threeplusfire: (Default)
When I drive and listen to the music from The Lord of The Rings, all the hairs on my arms stand up. When I watch those movies or when I listen to their scores, I am taken out of time and space. I believe, for those precious few moments. When we visited James' house last week, one of the scenes we watched was Pippin and Gandalf waiting for the troll to tear down one of Gondor's gates. Gandalf is consoling Pip, telling him how the journey doesn't end in death and all turns to silver glass and light on the way to a far shore. In the darkness on an insanely expensive leather couch I felt the wetness on my cheeks and every part of my heart reached out to Gandalf's kind eyes and words.

I can't figure out why I get up in the morning and go to work, except that we need the health insurance and it's the thing I have to do. I don't know what I would be doing otherwise, just rattling around the house. It was hard to concentrate today. My supervisor gave me a dressing down for the mistakes I've made in the past several months, and started out the meeting by saying, "Well this isn't the worst QC audit I've seen..." Couldn't he wait a day or two to give me all the bad news? I clipped the obituary to my forms for leave, so there was no room for doubt.

I watched part of Growing Up Gotti last night and it made me want to retch, preferably all over that marble floor. The woman who shrieked and flapped her arms over a dead damn bird was somehow even more annoying than the clearly spoiled and entitled Gotti brats. Mostly I wanted to punch them all the face for having no class.

This afternoon I wandered around Best Buy like a zombie, picking things up and putting them down. I want all the Last Exile dvds, but I can't justify the cost. Though, I did spend more than I should. Return of the King and Lain soundtracks, along with Tombstone, Interview with a Vampire and Blade dvds. Maybe I should have bought Full Metal Jacket as well, because that's one war movie I never get tired of watching.

The cat ate some of the moss decoration on one of the flower baskets, and threw up on the carpet. We brought home all these flowers from the funeral, which is a little weird but seems better than just throwing them out. I'm taking one of the pots to my mother, as she has space to plant it.
threeplusfire: (fuck up)
Apparently one of our health care providers has been supplying bad information to many, many callers. Alan just had a conference call with both our major providers to straighten it out, and so now the necessary referrals have been handed out. Appointment making will commence tomorrow.

In Texas, under the law, health care providers are required to cover mental health care including both psychologists and psychiatrists. You can't be in the insurance business here if you don't do that. I've never had so much trouble in my entire life getting care from any insurance provider before. Ugh.

I want more 7-Up cake.

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