loss

My other hand has started to hurt, and the pain inside my wrist grows. It's different from the left, though. More like the arthritis sort of pain I've experienced before.

I keep crying, because my worst nightmare has always been losing the use of my hands. It scares me. I remember reading that weird King novel Needful Things when I was young and being terrified by the woman with the crippled hands.

Nothing is right.

Time to go get another brace, a new keyboard and reset up my desk somewhere else for when I can write.

I need these hands. I can't do anything.

Everything is rainy and cold.

even the aztecs make me crazy

27 May 1980

The Day is 6 Atl (Water)
The sign of Atl is water, symbolising the instability that can result in either flood or drought, which in turn can result in personal hardship.

The presiding deity is Xiuhtecuhtli, the Lord of the Year and Lord of Fire. He was probably one of the greatest of Aztec gods and a very lucky omen whose influence upon the week was excellent. Owing to his great age, he was always the last to arrive at the temple each year when the gods returned.

The person born under this sign can be very unreliable and unpredictable. Their moods can vary quickly and the sign of instability could mean that they are inclined to be short tempered and easily aroused. Do not be surprised if they change their minds very easily and particularly make allowances for poor timekeeping.

They will sometimes have a tendency to be very methodical and might also prove to be a little slower at learning than others, but they will master things in their own good time.

The Week is 1 Cuetzpallin (Lizard)
The presiding deity is Itzlacoliuhqui, the Carved Obsidian Knife and the god of the Cold, in which aspect he represents the freezing cold of the obsidian stone.

It is a very unlucky week in which to be born and the unfortunate person whose birthday falls within it will be forever in terror of unexpected destruction. This could be in their homes, wealth, plans, or personal safety, and it is likely that individuals will receive some unfortunate, if not fatal, accident during their lifetime.

The sign of Cuetzpallin is the lizard, who was thought always to land upon his feet if dropped from a great height, much the same way as we think of the domestic cat. This will help the individual to withstand many of the troubles that life will provide, so that whatever the hardships they have to suffer, they will be able to land on their feet again.