(no subject)

Maybe it is because I use it every day and just don't see it, but there must be some leftover overdramatic style from my 14 year old goth self still in my writing. I wonder if I'm sleepwalking through interactions with other people because clearly I've hurt another friend profoundly and I'm not entirely sure how it happened.

I took all these communication classes in college and all that knowledge remains stubbornly theorectical in my head. I don't even know what I feel today.

Apparently I have badly wounded people in recent months. I think I pulled too hard into my shell to mull things over inside my head. I retreated for numerous reasons that have to do with how I deal with things. This has led to major miscommunications. I never intended to insult or deigrate anyone's feelings, experiences or opinions. So I would like to apologize here to anyone still listening.

(no subject)

Well Tom, I eat my hat. They did make Ratzinger Pope. I am extraordinarily interested.
I wish I was there, to see it in person.

trivia

Charming, insane, hyper, talented, spastic, crazy, brilliant Nick got into Yale for set design. How this happened, we don't know. But we salute you, Nick! Congratulations!

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It only took twenty something years, but my mother is finally growing roses. We had some off and on during my childhood but my mother never had a lot of luck with them. The limestone out here doesn't help. But she has four bushes growing now, red, pink, yellow and a striped red and white one.

She's planting mountain laurels all over the yard. Those are my favorites. She got new flowers called purple potato bush. One hanging basket is full of gigantic pink flowers that I think are fuschias. It's nice how much work she has put into the yard over the years.

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I'm re-reading Cerealizing America which is hilarious. I like food history books. I find the history of American breakfast cereals, granola, cornflaks and puffed rice especially intriguing. Who knew the Kellogg brothers were so wacky? there's a lot about advertising and commercial culture too.

Ineed more random food history topics. More fun than eating! Following Melynda's example, I'm going to stop eating fast food. We finally bought a real stock pot and steamer, so here's to hoping we can actually steam broccoli. Less junk food, more real food.

In the mean time, I'll read about cereal hijinks and sniff my BPAL oils.

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I'm very hard sometimes on my callers, in my smoke break bitching and journal paragraphs. This is probably not fair to some of them. I took a report on a woman the other day who lets her drug dealer babysit the kids. Really fucking stupid, that idea. But yet this woman is working and trying to go to school and raise four kids under the age of eight. Life is hard. I can only hope that CPS can offer her help with childcare and getting away from the dope. I probably should not be so caustic towards her because her life is miserable. My sympathies go farther towards so many of the adults we deal with. They are older, lonely, struggling, terrified people. Many of them are curmudgeonly cranks who won't take their damn meds, but that is beside the point.

I wouldn't have this job if I didn't care about people. I may bitch and kvetch about strict birth control enforcement and parenting regulations, but that is what it is. Kvetching to blow off steam.

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Management has received complaints. Recent depression about various things has made my writing lackluster. So I invite you to suggest a topic you think I should be writing about. Otherwise I'm going to start educating you all on the history of cornflakes and the population control idea I totally stole from Kim Stanley Robinson.