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update time
May. 31st, 2005 10:28 pmJosh told me yesterday the phones were dead, dead, dead. It is something of a relief to see 17 calls holding instead of 45, I admit. I took a couple calls today that rattled me in the back of my mind. One was a child death, but it wasn't something CPS could have jurisdiction over and the law enforcement investigation had no-billed the youth group leader. I felt so bad telling this woman that I couldn't punish the person who should have been keeping an eye on her son. Her other child nearly died too.
Last week I took a call that made me bawl in the car on the way home. It was from a man far away. His son was murdered in Texas, and he had never even seen his grandchild. The whole situation was scary and screwed up, and it has been in the news here and there. I had to stop and shake my head in the middle of the call and then I told him how sorry I was to be speaking with him under these circumstances. His quiet thank you held volumes of emotion. My heart just broke when I left the office.
Today I listened to a woman cry into my headset and I tried to console her even as I took a case against her. I felt really horrible doing it, even though I staffed the situation with a supervisor who told me to do it. On one hand, I knew there was a valid reason for it. On the other, it sounded to me like this person was honestly trying so hard to deal with the situation and was beset by things utterly beyond her control. Who knows. I could just be letting my emotional judgement stand in the way of the law. But damn. It felt rough.
For the most part I feel like I'm striking a good balance between my work life and my real life. I let it go on that five minute drive home. Sometimes it sticks in my mind, and I've had a couple ugly nightmares. But Alan got me that fabulous relaxing soap, so I take long baths and try to clear my head.
In other news, it has been a little over three days since my last cigarette. This happens when I get sick. I'm going to let it run for a bit, see how long it takes to want one again. I could stand to smoke less, from a purely financial point of view. None of that hoo-ha about my health and polluting my body now. Part of me wants to smoke in spite, because the nonsmoking activists have been so ugly and public. Plus, I'm still pissed about the smoking ban.
My tulips have grown taller and spilled over the edges of the vase. It's neat. I have also finally had some birthday cake form my mother, white cake with chocolate frosting, my favorite. Bought a ton of groceries since it is the beginning of the month, yay paycheck. We have delicious corn, tomato, red potato, garlic and onions to go with shrimp and tortellini. I also splurged on fancy no hormone beef. It just looked so much better than everything else.
Last week I took a call that made me bawl in the car on the way home. It was from a man far away. His son was murdered in Texas, and he had never even seen his grandchild. The whole situation was scary and screwed up, and it has been in the news here and there. I had to stop and shake my head in the middle of the call and then I told him how sorry I was to be speaking with him under these circumstances. His quiet thank you held volumes of emotion. My heart just broke when I left the office.
Today I listened to a woman cry into my headset and I tried to console her even as I took a case against her. I felt really horrible doing it, even though I staffed the situation with a supervisor who told me to do it. On one hand, I knew there was a valid reason for it. On the other, it sounded to me like this person was honestly trying so hard to deal with the situation and was beset by things utterly beyond her control. Who knows. I could just be letting my emotional judgement stand in the way of the law. But damn. It felt rough.
For the most part I feel like I'm striking a good balance between my work life and my real life. I let it go on that five minute drive home. Sometimes it sticks in my mind, and I've had a couple ugly nightmares. But Alan got me that fabulous relaxing soap, so I take long baths and try to clear my head.
In other news, it has been a little over three days since my last cigarette. This happens when I get sick. I'm going to let it run for a bit, see how long it takes to want one again. I could stand to smoke less, from a purely financial point of view. None of that hoo-ha about my health and polluting my body now. Part of me wants to smoke in spite, because the nonsmoking activists have been so ugly and public. Plus, I'm still pissed about the smoking ban.
My tulips have grown taller and spilled over the edges of the vase. It's neat. I have also finally had some birthday cake form my mother, white cake with chocolate frosting, my favorite. Bought a ton of groceries since it is the beginning of the month, yay paycheck. We have delicious corn, tomato, red potato, garlic and onions to go with shrimp and tortellini. I also splurged on fancy no hormone beef. It just looked so much better than everything else.