It's the deep breath before the plunge

Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight
Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade
All shall fade

- Pippin's song, from Return of the King

Alan and I are seperating. There are many parts to the story, and I don't want to discuss the details of all of them. Let it just be that there are some things that we can not over come, and that there are some things love can not heal.

In the past two years, I have loved Alan like no other person on this green earth. No one has ever made me so happy, or made me feel so loved. I knew, and I still know that marrying him was the right choice and that it was meant to happen. I continue to love him, more than I can stand sometimes. When I wrote my wedding vows, I promised to go with him to the end. This was not the end I imagined for us.

Let me make it absolutely clear that love was never the question. Anyone who suggests otherwise, or casts insults will be deleted out of this journal. I don't want to hear anything about how anyone wasn't good enough or decisions made in haste because that is not the issue. This is the most painful, terrible thing I've had to endure in my life and that's quite a statement for me to make. I don't expect anything from those reading this. All I ask is that you respect my decision to keep the details of this situation private.

Pray for Alan, and for me, whatever your faith may be.