Love was your great disappointment

I've spent an hour nearly staring at the screen, with no luck in expressing anything thoughtful or coherent. Maybe it's the raining outside, and my distinct lack of ethusiam for leaving the house this morning. I want to stay here in the grey light instead and listen to the storm.

There's a lot I could write about I suppose. The divorce and how good it felt to drop my ex-husband off the insurances after the judge signed all those papers. What it is like to be back on my own again a few years down the road. My job, and the things we fight against. How I'm so sick and tired of the anti-smoking crowd that I'm losing my ability to engage in respectful debate and just wanting to slap people. Maybe I could write about pound cake and the absolute joy of creaming butter and suger. Or perhaps about family, how my cousin is about to have a baby soon and my sister is doing better these days.

I'm not getting further than a paragraph on any of that right now. Well, so it goes. Eventually I'll write it down. You know, I just don't want to go in today. I want to get in my car and just start driving, anywhere. Let's go so far away that this just won't matter anymore and I won't feel like being lost is a problem.

This will settle down soon. Time to go find my boots.