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you couldn't write my life as fiction
Oct. 28th, 2008 11:56 amYesterday I saw my doctor, who perches on the counters and puts his feet on the stool much like some people I know. It is endearing. Today I saw a ENT specialist about my snoring, possible sleep apnea, unrelenting fatigue and weird weight gain. He examined my tonsils and explained that for normal folks the tonsils are about the size of small Key lime. By comparison, my tonsils are closer to the size of kiwi fruit. Imagine having two kiwis jammed in your throat.
Kiwis. At least that is better than one doctor, years ago, who referred to them as "the size of horse testicles."
So next week I'm having surgery to remove them. He was a little surprised it wasn't done when I was a child. I have vague memories of a book about a child getting a tonsillectomy and then eating lots of ice cream. I know the idea frightened the hell out of me at five years old. I suppose the real reason was money, and the lack of health insurance. Anyhow, the ENT doctor is pretty certain removing my tonsils will have a huge impact on my snoring and any developing sleep apnea issues.
I am alternating between terror and hilarity. The nurse gave me a booklet written for children called "Your T&A Journey." It required a lot of self control to keep a blank face. Aside from the inappropriate title, it's all cartoons and super simplified explanations of the surgery. That's quite fine by me. The aftercare information has enough gory details.
Two weeks of narcotics and smoothies. What a vacation!
The office had a table covered in pumpkins and Halloween decorations. One pumpkin had a messy brown wig, and a picture of Sarah Palin's face. There was another with John McCain. I wish I had brought the camera.
All this required getting up very early after sleeping poorly. Driving on Mopac, I was reminded of a traffic study comissioned about a decade ago. Researchers were given a million dollar grant to come up with a reason for traffic jams. People drive too slow, they said. I could have told you that for a far cheaper fee. This morning two school buses, some minivans and a truck were jamming up the fast lane and the center lane. I ended up having to pass in the slow lane on the right. I understand that isn't done in many places. At least I used my turn signal.
If you love me at all, please don't buy a Lexus. I have never seen one driven in any sane manner. Usually they are veering over lanes, not signaling and generally driving as if the person is on the far side of a three day crack binge and has a cellphone jammed in the ear. It's sort of mind boggling.
LJ Idol entry later, after food and rest.
Kiwis. At least that is better than one doctor, years ago, who referred to them as "the size of horse testicles."
So next week I'm having surgery to remove them. He was a little surprised it wasn't done when I was a child. I have vague memories of a book about a child getting a tonsillectomy and then eating lots of ice cream. I know the idea frightened the hell out of me at five years old. I suppose the real reason was money, and the lack of health insurance. Anyhow, the ENT doctor is pretty certain removing my tonsils will have a huge impact on my snoring and any developing sleep apnea issues.
I am alternating between terror and hilarity. The nurse gave me a booklet written for children called "Your T&A Journey." It required a lot of self control to keep a blank face. Aside from the inappropriate title, it's all cartoons and super simplified explanations of the surgery. That's quite fine by me. The aftercare information has enough gory details.
Two weeks of narcotics and smoothies. What a vacation!
The office had a table covered in pumpkins and Halloween decorations. One pumpkin had a messy brown wig, and a picture of Sarah Palin's face. There was another with John McCain. I wish I had brought the camera.
All this required getting up very early after sleeping poorly. Driving on Mopac, I was reminded of a traffic study comissioned about a decade ago. Researchers were given a million dollar grant to come up with a reason for traffic jams. People drive too slow, they said. I could have told you that for a far cheaper fee. This morning two school buses, some minivans and a truck were jamming up the fast lane and the center lane. I ended up having to pass in the slow lane on the right. I understand that isn't done in many places. At least I used my turn signal.
If you love me at all, please don't buy a Lexus. I have never seen one driven in any sane manner. Usually they are veering over lanes, not signaling and generally driving as if the person is on the far side of a three day crack binge and has a cellphone jammed in the ear. It's sort of mind boggling.
LJ Idol entry later, after food and rest.