like my heart is breaking

Each time I open Firefox, I catch the NY Times headlines on my Google homepage. Every time I read the updated AP stories, the articles, the blog posts and links and commentary about Dr Tiller's murder. Each time I start crying, hard, devastated for a man I never met. I'm so angry, and I'm scared, and I don't want to be. I'm so angry that the medical decisions and private lives of women are deemed public property and women unfit to make their own decisions, that a hysterical terrorist side of the debate will always keep us from any reasonable discussion.

Reading posts about the murder, and recently about the experiences of friends who worked as client escorts and volunteers, made me think a lot about my values and my choices. I wish I was half as eloquent and vocal as some people I know, to say something uplifting or inspiring about how we aren't going to let ourselves fall into fear. I wish I could say something suitably vitriolic for all those people condoning murder to support the 'sanctity of life.' I wish I could say anything other than I keep crying like my heart is breaking.

Why late term abortions are necessary. It's never what you think.

Being the daughter of a doctor.

Medical Students for Choice is worthy of your support. Because we need them to be here for us, and they don't deserve to be murdered.

And they shall say to me Lord , Lord , all these things we did in your name.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/02/us/02tiller.html?hp

Scott Roeder, 51, of Merriam, Kan., whom authorities have described as a suspect in Sunday’s fatal shooting here of George Tiller, was once a subscriber and occasional contributor to a newsletter, Prayer and Action News, said Dave Leach, an anti-abortion activist from Des Moines who runs the newsletter. Mr. Leach said that he had met Mr. Roeder once, and that Mr. Roeder had described similar views to his own on abortion.

Commenting on Dr. Tiller’s death, Mr. Leach said, “To call this a crime is too simplistic.” He added, “There is Christian scripture that would support this."

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/6/1/737689/-Dave-Leach-is-a-liar.-Christ-Never-Advocated-We-Murder-In-His-Name-

Herein lies the hypocrisy and contradiction of the modern day Right Wing Evangelical Conservative Christians in America. They claim a belief in Christ , but do not follow his teachings nor do they embrace his message. That message is faith in God and treating ALL men as they would want to be treated themselves. It includes welcoming strangers. It includes loving your enemy. Not killing your perceived enemy. It includes feeding the homeless and taking in widows. It includes ministering to the sick and imprisoned. It EXCLUDES MURDER !!!