unsolicited advice, concert time

Dear concert going public,

While summer is winding down, there are still plenty of major touring acts hitting the roads all around the country. Concerts are lots of fun, so here are some tips for making the most of them:

- Concerts can be great family experiences. However, don't take your elementary school age children into a mosh pit at a punk/metal/rock show and expect everyone around you to stop slam dancing to protect your little precious snowflake.

- Don't go see Joan Baez if you don't like her political opinions. Don't get angry when Joan Baez has a political opinion.

- You really don't need 900 self portraits taken with your cell phone during the show, and your flash is probably going to cause the guy behind you to have a rage seizure in which he pours his beer over your head and beats you.

- It's Pat Benatar, not Pat Bananatar.

- Please don''t be surprised when the guys from Green Day say "fuck" often. Have you ever actually listened to Green Day?

- Complaining about how many times Lady Gaga changes clothes is like complaining that there are people drinking excessively at a Jimmy Buffet show. It just shows everyone else you are not very bright.

Don't forget your ear plugs and enjoy your concerts!

Insincerely,
your concerned review reader