one dot keeps changing colors

I suppose I am starting to get better.

There is still an intense emotional swing, day to day. Sometimes even hour to hour. I cannot find my way back to the middle most of the time. It is despair and grief, or something close to mania fueled by caffeine, nicotine and loud music. It's been a long time since I felt this way. What a hell of a way to recapture my lost youth.

I want to believe it is getting better, but I'm wary of trusting that too much.