nothing behind them ever stirs, the world outside is burning coldly

I've been so tired since I got back to Austin, and I'm not sure what it is. Nothing real, certainly. I've worked two shifts despite my apathy. I've answered fifty support emails today for my forum moderation volunteer work.

I love my new tattoo so much, even as it itches. I think I will go dancing tonight. I need it. I need the sound to fill up my head and take me out of myself for a little while. My brain feels a little raw, a little on edge.

Today I did my government healthcare study interview and cashed my check from them. The thing I love about being able to cash checks on my phone is destroying the paper checks afterward. I set them on fire over the sink and have a little moment where I pretend like I'm a spy.

Also today I dragged myself out and walked the long, long way around the block. I can't really bring myself to run because I hate running and feel graceless. But I walk pretty furiously, especially when I'm listening to something like Combichrist. Rage, rage, rage.