meme town

How this works:

You comment, I give you an age (please tell me how old you currently are so I don't inadvertently move you into the future) and you respond to the meme questions with what applied to you back then, and what's true now.

coyotegoth gave me age 19.

I lived in: My first apartment, a ground floor one bedroom with grey carpet and white walls. It had sliding glass doors from the bedroom onto the balcony and a windowless bathroom with an expansive counter. Sometimes I miss that place, and sometimes I dream about it. I spent most of my time there alone. In all the time I lived there I think I had less than six people ever visit inside.

Now: A two bedroom house that we own, with a big crepe myrtle in the back. The bathroom in the back has a high window, but the front bathroom has none. I planted a pear tree in the front yard because I love that week in spring when all the pears bloom bright white flowers like little explosions. I no longer have to listen to my neighbors thump around over my head.


I drove: I may have still been driving my first car, a 1978 gold Chrysler Le Baron. A heavy, ridiculous vehicle but one I felt safe in so long as it started. Sometimes it left me stranded on the side of the road.

Now: Our road trip car, car for transporting large things from IKEA or helping people move. A blue 2005 Saturn Vue that I am actually rather fond of now. I have driven it from one side of America to the other over the past few years.


I was in a relationship with: Patrick - a boy I probably shouldn't have been dating, given how self destructive and horrible I was to everyone around me. I met him waiting for the bus home from campus. I stared at him for weeks, still in the throes of my obsession with long haired men. He introduced me to a lot of books.

Now: Mike - someone better to me than I'll ever deserve. Married for five years already. He's gotten quite good at guitar.


I feared: Besides the end of the world? Not being able to pay my tuition, my rent, things like that. I was living on my own and paying for school, working full time and taking classes and mostly being afraid some unexpected catastrophe like the car breaking down would render me unable to pay my bills. I was afraid of being alone, afraid of being myself. I was afraid of failing at college, which was the only goal my entire life had then. Money was a constant overwhelming fear, despite having thousands of dollars carefully saved in the bank.

Now: I fear random acts of senseless violence taking away people I care about, catastrophes of home ownership, falling down. Mike dying before me. The usual sort of thing I guess. The end of the world.


I worked at: A local dot com start up dealing with internet commerce.

Now: A completely different local dot com start up dealing with internet commerce.


I wanted to be: a journalist, an academic, something. I had lofty ideas about words paying the bills.

Now: I'm not really sure. I think mostly I'd like to be a decent person.