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Oct. 16th, 2013 02:25 pmI can tell I've lost my mind a little bit.
In the car, I keep reaching to shift the gears when I take off from a stop light. This is bad, because I stopped driving a stick shift car around 2009. This is a very recent and strange development, going back almost three weeks now. I do not know what the hell is going on there.
The October issue of Harper's is very good stuff. I love that magazine. I did feel strange reading TC Boyle's otherwise excellent short story though. It is all about a man who dies alone in his bed and is left there for god knows how long, and about a particular failure as a father. I wish I could say this is the first time something like this has crossed my radar since the end of August. I'm trying not to see it everywhere because I know that's my brain playing tricks on me. But it is everywhere some days. Because my father is dead, so everything is about dead fathers. The novel I just finished reading is about dead fathers.
I can tell I'm depressed. It's not crippling. But it is there. I'm not really functional in some ways. Oh, I'm doing laundry and making dinner and I go out three times a week to be social. I go to the library, and I have a sort of weird part time job and kickboxing. But that's about all I feel capable of doing.
Mailed off a ton of paperwork today, all death related. It makes me tired.
In the car, I keep reaching to shift the gears when I take off from a stop light. This is bad, because I stopped driving a stick shift car around 2009. This is a very recent and strange development, going back almost three weeks now. I do not know what the hell is going on there.
The October issue of Harper's is very good stuff. I love that magazine. I did feel strange reading TC Boyle's otherwise excellent short story though. It is all about a man who dies alone in his bed and is left there for god knows how long, and about a particular failure as a father. I wish I could say this is the first time something like this has crossed my radar since the end of August. I'm trying not to see it everywhere because I know that's my brain playing tricks on me. But it is everywhere some days. Because my father is dead, so everything is about dead fathers. The novel I just finished reading is about dead fathers.
I can tell I'm depressed. It's not crippling. But it is there. I'm not really functional in some ways. Oh, I'm doing laundry and making dinner and I go out three times a week to be social. I go to the library, and I have a sort of weird part time job and kickboxing. But that's about all I feel capable of doing.
Mailed off a ton of paperwork today, all death related. It makes me tired.