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all these things that I have done
Sep. 7th, 2014 01:21 pmDAY THIRTY: a letter to the friendliest person you knew for only one day
DAY THIRTY-ONE: whatever tickles your fancy
I had no idea what to say for day thirty because what, I don't even know. I think I'm off by a day now but fuck it. I'm not good at being a daily blogger. Though I did manage it for about two years on here once.
My job continues to bring me intense satisfaction. I like being the loyal soldier. I show up on time, I get shit done. I have no desire to be an officer or move up in truth. I'm content to just keep doing this. Probably for my bosses. If I had different bosses it might not be the same. But I will try to not stress about the future and just do this thing.
I am consistently hitting seven miles now. I managed to run several sub 11 minute miles today. I also lifted some very heavy things today and it felt good. I did not skip my crunches either. I feel virtuous. Doing all this crazy hard stuff calms the rage and the incessant buzz of my thoughts. For the first time I'm glad I stopped smoking as I'm paying a lot of attention to my breath and my heart rate as I run. Mostly I just miss the pleasure of smoking but I'm finally able to acknowledge it might be a good trade to forgo that.
Tomorrow I have an appointment to talk to a man about lasers. Specifically those lasers they stick on your eyes so you can give up contacts and glasses forever. When I got contacts, the year after the divorce, it was this absurd decision to do something that scared me. This feels similar. There's vanity to it, though I probably look cuter in my glasses than I do without them. But I'm so sick of wearing them. I'm sick of having blackheads on the side of my nose, of having to take them off at the gym because I sweat so much, sick of having to carry glasses and sunglasses or just not being able to wear sunglasses. I also want to be able to cram my head in that virtual reality headset without fuss. I'm super sick of contacts. I can't wear them for more than six to eight hours without discomfort. I just want to wear my absurd KPOP style sunglasses while I drive, and play video games.
( For all the other days )
DAY THIRTY-ONE: whatever tickles your fancy
I had no idea what to say for day thirty because what, I don't even know. I think I'm off by a day now but fuck it. I'm not good at being a daily blogger. Though I did manage it for about two years on here once.
My job continues to bring me intense satisfaction. I like being the loyal soldier. I show up on time, I get shit done. I have no desire to be an officer or move up in truth. I'm content to just keep doing this. Probably for my bosses. If I had different bosses it might not be the same. But I will try to not stress about the future and just do this thing.
I am consistently hitting seven miles now. I managed to run several sub 11 minute miles today. I also lifted some very heavy things today and it felt good. I did not skip my crunches either. I feel virtuous. Doing all this crazy hard stuff calms the rage and the incessant buzz of my thoughts. For the first time I'm glad I stopped smoking as I'm paying a lot of attention to my breath and my heart rate as I run. Mostly I just miss the pleasure of smoking but I'm finally able to acknowledge it might be a good trade to forgo that.
Tomorrow I have an appointment to talk to a man about lasers. Specifically those lasers they stick on your eyes so you can give up contacts and glasses forever. When I got contacts, the year after the divorce, it was this absurd decision to do something that scared me. This feels similar. There's vanity to it, though I probably look cuter in my glasses than I do without them. But I'm so sick of wearing them. I'm sick of having blackheads on the side of my nose, of having to take them off at the gym because I sweat so much, sick of having to carry glasses and sunglasses or just not being able to wear sunglasses. I also want to be able to cram my head in that virtual reality headset without fuss. I'm super sick of contacts. I can't wear them for more than six to eight hours without discomfort. I just want to wear my absurd KPOP style sunglasses while I drive, and play video games.
( For all the other days )