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The first David Bowie album I ever bought was Outside. It was a strange, scifi thing he did with Brian Eno and I loved it immensely. It felt like a hole in space, reaching out. That year he toured with Nine Inch Nails, and one of my mother's coworkers took me to see them play in Southpark Meadows. (Which was a big open field and is now buried in strip mall development.) It was one of the best, strangest concert experiences of my life. I will never forget that moment of standing in a crowd in the dark in a field, looking up at this stage full of lights, the screaming sound of "Scary Monsters" filling up the night.
I'm so sad that I ache. I found out in the gym. The power flickered and all the over head lights when out while I was running upstairs. A few moments later I looked at the television in front of me, and saw the ticker on the bottom of some morning news show that said Bowie was gone. I think I said something out loud, but I couldn't hear myself because my headphones were on loud. The guy next to me looked at me as I stumbled and slowed way down. I kept watching, hoping I imagined it. But a minute later it looped through the traffic to the same message.
We are small sparks and the world is so wide. I am lucky enough to have even lived in a world at the same time he was here. But I'm so goddamn sad, and reading about how he knew, that Blackstar was a goodbye, and I don't think I can handle it.
My chest hurts.
Very few things make me despair, or make me hope there's something beyond just this. I'm in a pretty nihilistic place these days about life and death and souls. But if there is anything in the universe that hears us, I hope there's a place where Bowie exists forever.
I'm so sad that I ache. I found out in the gym. The power flickered and all the over head lights when out while I was running upstairs. A few moments later I looked at the television in front of me, and saw the ticker on the bottom of some morning news show that said Bowie was gone. I think I said something out loud, but I couldn't hear myself because my headphones were on loud. The guy next to me looked at me as I stumbled and slowed way down. I kept watching, hoping I imagined it. But a minute later it looped through the traffic to the same message.
We are small sparks and the world is so wide. I am lucky enough to have even lived in a world at the same time he was here. But I'm so goddamn sad, and reading about how he knew, that Blackstar was a goodbye, and I don't think I can handle it.
My chest hurts.
Very few things make me despair, or make me hope there's something beyond just this. I'm in a pretty nihilistic place these days about life and death and souls. But if there is anything in the universe that hears us, I hope there's a place where Bowie exists forever.