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threeplusfireWhat a long, long day.
Woke up late, after an hour of the alarm clock. Raced down and parked again. I've never driven to campus so much in three days. Pretended to study, had lunch with my father, played cards. (I spent most of my day in Metro.) Sold my Carcapino book for $2, and got lost on the way to my Classics exam, just like in my nightmares. Wrote two brilliant essays and one lousy one in two hours. Morgan wished me well, and the tone of his voice was surprisingly gentle, so I think he was sincere. I'm going to miss that class.
Walked back up through campus with an ache in my heart, that I'm done and it's over and I'm so much older now. I never imagined I would actually finish this. Even with all my life geared towards college, I never thought about what happens next.
It's good that I'm moving to Brno. Because if I stay here, much as I might want to, I won't feel like I'm ever growing up. God knows there are reasons to stay, and god knows this is a good reason to go. I don't want to leave the people I love here. I wish I could take them all with me, especially two of them. You are my best friends you know. (Though I think only one of you reads this.)
Played endless rounds of cards today, and one spectacular game that I won by more than 100 points. Gene and Clock had two finals, both in the evening, and they looked exhausted. I took Gene to dinner, because I thought he might fall over unconscious on the sidewalk if I didn't. I could tell the lack of real food (i.e. something other than macaroons), lack of decent sleep, and large amounts of caffiene were wearing thin on me as well. Suddenly everything was funny, and I kept saying the stupidest things.
Woke up late, after an hour of the alarm clock. Raced down and parked again. I've never driven to campus so much in three days. Pretended to study, had lunch with my father, played cards. (I spent most of my day in Metro.) Sold my Carcapino book for $2, and got lost on the way to my Classics exam, just like in my nightmares. Wrote two brilliant essays and one lousy one in two hours. Morgan wished me well, and the tone of his voice was surprisingly gentle, so I think he was sincere. I'm going to miss that class.
Walked back up through campus with an ache in my heart, that I'm done and it's over and I'm so much older now. I never imagined I would actually finish this. Even with all my life geared towards college, I never thought about what happens next.
It's good that I'm moving to Brno. Because if I stay here, much as I might want to, I won't feel like I'm ever growing up. God knows there are reasons to stay, and god knows this is a good reason to go. I don't want to leave the people I love here. I wish I could take them all with me, especially two of them. You are my best friends you know. (Though I think only one of you reads this.)
Played endless rounds of cards today, and one spectacular game that I won by more than 100 points. Gene and Clock had two finals, both in the evening, and they looked exhausted. I took Gene to dinner, because I thought he might fall over unconscious on the sidewalk if I didn't. I could tell the lack of real food (i.e. something other than macaroons), lack of decent sleep, and large amounts of caffiene were wearing thin on me as well. Suddenly everything was funny, and I kept saying the stupidest things.
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Date: 2002-05-09 03:00 am (UTC)It's good that I'm moving to Brno. Because if I stay here, much as I might want to, I won't feel like I'm ever growing up. God knows there are reasons to stay, and god knows this is a good reason to go. I don't want to leave the people I love here. I wish I could take them all with me, especially two of them. You are my best friends you know. (Though I think only one of you reads this.)
wow, this is so perfect. I am processing some of the the same ideas right now, graduating in June moving in August. Not many people I've known here have left either and sometimes I feel like I'm leaving the party before midnight or something but I also know staying would just truncate my own growth. Good luck!
xox
Re:
Date: 2002-05-09 06:10 am (UTC)Leaving the party before midnight. That's an excellent way to put it.
Re:
Date: 2002-05-09 11:50 am (UTC)xox