just as long as I remember who's wearing the trousers

[threeplusfire]

I'm taking a ride with my best friend

Driving home, and just as I turned onto the freeway, Depeche Mode comes on, and there I am with the window rolled down so that my hands are freezing. I'm the only car for a mile or so, gliding to the sounds and the light is so bright. I can feel, inside my black clothes and boots, under my winter coat and hat, the diamond kernel of myself. It's such a strange thing to know, despite the madness and fumbling, buried in a thousand and one gestures and layers and choices, that I am there underneath it all and I just have to work on pulling that part of myself further out until it is all that I am.

There was another song, name forgotten, but tune and words recognized that took me home, through lights, over the lines and around the curve.

it leads you on
despite your desperation
under the milky way tonight

Comments

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I was born in the Texas Panhandle, and I've lived for the past fourteen years in the far end of what is now the Austin suburbs. Didn't used to be Austin really, when we first moved here. But Hwy 183 gets bigger every year, and the city limit line creeps outward.

I get that disconnected feeling when I'm driving my mother's Explorer, or sometimes alone in other people's cars. I imagine it has something to do with not having a car of my own anymore.

But I know what you mean, about just driving sometimes just because it is beautiful, and just 'cause. I used to drive up and down the 360 Loop for that, because it weaves up and down, over the river and there is a hidden, beautiful view of the city proper through a gap in the hills.

Sometime, I should have a proper roadtrip. I have to work on my queasiness when other people drive though. ;)