threeplusfire | this was not what I wanted

Current Mood: headaches

this was not what I wanted

One of those days when all you want to do is hide.

But on the brighter side. I talked with Professor P. about the graduate program in Czech at UT, and I feel better about it now. One less thing to stress about. I made absolutely ridiculous mistakes on my exam, and I think I will stay home tonight to study.

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eh, everyone makes mistakes on exams, and it's never as bad as you want to make yourself think that it was.

good on you for taking about what to do with your future. :D

It was just a totally bizarre set of mistakes, the same thing repeated.. I was shocked when I looked at my paper. Hmm. I'm not sure what happened there.

I so want to be an overworked grad student. :D It's my dream.

this morning, i was sitting around thinking... and i started crying... because... (okay, and this is weird...) because i realized that what i was thinking was "my god, i can't believe my hair hasn't begun to turn grey from this."

i think most people are much better grad students, though.

:)

oh dear. I hope you feel better now. you wouldn't believe the color warhol's hair has become from all his hard work. :P

all the grad students I know personally are fascinating. I want to be that nifty when I grow up. :D

I cried when I realized the post office wasn't open this morning.

that is a much, much better reason to cry.

not really. I forgot that today was a federal holiday and I had put off mailing Patrick's birthday present. I couldn't just drop the package in the bin since it's more than 12 ounces and those damn anti-terrorist mail rules. *sigh* I felt un-smart.

I think I dyed my hair grey because I couldn't believe it hadn't greyed on its own, before.

but yeah. grad school is horrible, but on the other hand..... it's wonderful because you're immersed in the ONE thing you love. I guess it's weird. if it's what your passion is, you should do it. realize that it's a bit of a job, but it probably also is a bit of a commitment to serving a particular world.

(and I realize that I've clicked on respond, but that this comment is directed at tsarina.)

You know, when I was very young, I used to dream about college, about being immersed in writing and books. I was so disillusioned by high school that I didn't care. But I had a teacher who made me realize that I could write, and that I had to do something with that. I start journalism at UT, and within a year I was so sick and tired.

Somehow I fell into the Slavic department and something in my head clicked. It screamed "This is what I want to be, this is what I want!"

Work. I can do that. I'll complain a lot, but I can do it. If it's something I love, I can do it. God knows I've been through too much to give it up at this point.

yeah, well..... the best advice I ever got from one of my undergrad teachers was, "grad school is a place where the race isn't always to the swiftest, it's to who perseveres."

I think you have to love it, you have to be fairly certain about it, and you have to be just plain stubborn. personally, I think it's the last of those which has been my real secret of success.

Oh wait I do know you. ;) You're that guy who never leaves his office.

I can't imagine doing anything else with my life really. I'm too idealist for journalism, and not willing to get shot on the street in Moscow for that story anymore. I really feel at home in academia.

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this was not what I wanted

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the grad students i know are so cool

yes, now that you mention it, I am pretty cool

do I know you? :P