threeplusfire | this was not what I wanted

Current Mood: headaches

this was not what I wanted

One of those days when all you want to do is hide.

But on the brighter side. I talked with Professor P. about the graduate program in Czech at UT, and I feel better about it now. One less thing to stress about. I made absolutely ridiculous mistakes on my exam, and I think I will stay home tonight to study.

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this morning, i was sitting around thinking... and i started crying... because... (okay, and this is weird...) because i realized that what i was thinking was "my god, i can't believe my hair hasn't begun to turn grey from this."

i think most people are much better grad students, though.

:)

oh dear. I hope you feel better now. you wouldn't believe the color warhol's hair has become from all his hard work. :P

all the grad students I know personally are fascinating. I want to be that nifty when I grow up. :D

I cried when I realized the post office wasn't open this morning.

that is a much, much better reason to cry.

not really. I forgot that today was a federal holiday and I had put off mailing Patrick's birthday present. I couldn't just drop the package in the bin since it's more than 12 ounces and those damn anti-terrorist mail rules. *sigh* I felt un-smart.

I think I dyed my hair grey because I couldn't believe it hadn't greyed on its own, before.

but yeah. grad school is horrible, but on the other hand..... it's wonderful because you're immersed in the ONE thing you love. I guess it's weird. if it's what your passion is, you should do it. realize that it's a bit of a job, but it probably also is a bit of a commitment to serving a particular world.

(and I realize that I've clicked on respond, but that this comment is directed at tsarina.)

You know, when I was very young, I used to dream about college, about being immersed in writing and books. I was so disillusioned by high school that I didn't care. But I had a teacher who made me realize that I could write, and that I had to do something with that. I start journalism at UT, and within a year I was so sick and tired.

Somehow I fell into the Slavic department and something in my head clicked. It screamed "This is what I want to be, this is what I want!"

Work. I can do that. I'll complain a lot, but I can do it. If it's something I love, I can do it. God knows I've been through too much to give it up at this point.

yeah, well..... the best advice I ever got from one of my undergrad teachers was, "grad school is a place where the race isn't always to the swiftest, it's to who perseveres."

I think you have to love it, you have to be fairly certain about it, and you have to be just plain stubborn. personally, I think it's the last of those which has been my real secret of success.

Oh wait I do know you. ;) You're that guy who never leaves his office.

I can't imagine doing anything else with my life really. I'm too idealist for journalism, and not willing to get shot on the street in Moscow for that story anymore. I really feel at home in academia.

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this was not what I wanted

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the grad students i know are so cool

yes, now that you mention it, I am pretty cool

do I know you? :P