betrayal

[threeplusfire]

I really suddenly don't care about how public my life might be here or who reads it.

Fuck you Dad.

My sister got out on some kind of pre-trial release last night. Apparently my father is helping her out in someway. He called me three times today while I was sleeping, and I'm rather glad I didn't get woken up by those calls. He wanted me to go fetch my sister her fucking purse. And when I told him I wasn't having anything to do with her or giving her anything, he started yelling at me like I'm some dimwit five year old. I told him not yell at me, which is always the wrong thing to do with my father. How dare I question his orders? He said something cruel and sarcastic and hung up the phone. I screamed into the very quiet bathroom, because it was either scream or break.

Fuck you. How dare you do this to me. How dare you expect me to take your orders, or to help my drug using psychopath of a sister. How could you betray everything you said to me on Tuesday like this? You, of all people.

I'm so glad I'm leaving town in two hours because I'm in that mood where everything is hateful, everything hurts and I just do not want to fucking deal with another thing. I want my friends, I want time away, I want to not be so fucking angry or hurt for a few days. I'm going to the rodeo in Houston, I'm going to buy a new pair of shoes, I'm going to eat a steak and I'm not going to answer any phone calls from my family.

That is all. Have a nice weekend. And for all the people out there who have expressed their sympathy and offered support, thank you. Thank you.

Comments

[tinywarrior.livejournal.com]

Distance is good and you're strong, strong, strong. Scream all you want, anytime you want. You have plenty of people around who are here for YOU. Have fun! Give me a call when you get back.

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

It's a weird thing, you know, to realize that I am much stronger than I ever managed.

Thank you Cate. Thank you so, so much for your friendship and your time. I tell people all the time I want to be like you when I grow up, because you're one of my personal heroes.

I'm going to wear your boots on Sunday to the rodeo. ;)

[alainn-sorcha.livejournal.com]

*hugshugshugs*

You have a kick ass weekend! You deserve it.

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Thank you.
Is your sunburn doing better?

[alainn-sorcha.livejournal.com]

Why, yes it is. Thank you very much for asking. :)

Re:

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Good, good. You should buy a little aloe vera plant and keep it on your window sill or something. They're very hardy and pretty, and whenever you need it you can cut off a chunk to smooth all over your skin. They regenerate quickly too.

[siria.livejournal.com]

Have a great trip, dear. You deserve it. *hugs*

[verian.livejournal.com]

It is impossible for me to put myself in your position or claim to fully understand how you are feeling but I do emphasise and sincerely hope that you remain strong and come through this pain you are having to suffer without too many scars.

xx

Glad you're getting away.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

It's impossible to be healthy in an unhealthy situation.
So glad you're getting out for a few days.

Kudos for being strong, for taking the harder path of being true to what's right rather than what's easy.

*hug*

[reive.livejournal.com]

As ever, call any time.

[radiumhead.livejournal.com]

I thought you were on my friend's list!! You're cool, I posted to you a bunch of times-I didnt realize until I checked razorart's friends list that I haven't seen your lj in awhile. I need to check that.
By the way, i heard they might cut the Shire uprising out of the Return of the King-i hope that's not true.

[seitvonzu.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh- the rodeo? HAVE A BLAST! :)