showering down
Jun. 5th, 2003 03:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
threeplusfireIt is raining outside, so I guess that makes it appropriate. It's grey, grey, grey and cool. Not quite summer. But free water is nice, even if it means my feet get wet walking to the car. I like waking up to the half light of a grey day best anyhow. Easier on the eyes.
But I like the shower meme more than the usual surveys because it lets me see what sorts of things people are led to wonder about me from reading my journal.
1: You've had your fair share of let-downs, betrayals and downers, near-deaths and life-risks. You've tried a number of methods for dealing with the emotional fallout and have grown immensely since you've started your journal. What is it you do now to encourage peace in your life that seems the most successful to you?
I try to be a bit calmer. Try being the operative word. I'm working on not getting so worked up and feeling as if I have to be in control of everything. I try to balance the time I take for myself with time spent amongst friends, get more sun, and remember that I'm really ok most of the time.
2: I get the impression that you've changed so much over the course of this journal... What do you want to do and become in the future?
Ideally, I want to go into academia, teach, and become a published writer. I want to study more languages, improve the ones I know, travel to Russia. I want to wake up in the morning and know that somehow I've been as good to someone as my professors have been to me.
3: There's something about body markings, both accidental and intentional. You've likened the marks on your body to a record of your life. What physical markings are you now most proud of and why?
The one I'm most proud of would be my tattoo. It's become a major symbol for me, even if I never imagined that I would want to get a stylized Egyptian owl done on my ankle. But in ancient Egyptian, the owl is the letter M and a preposition meaning "into" or "through." It's about transition for me, and the owl is a traditional symbol of wisdom, so it's hope that I do end up with some down the road.
I am also strangely proud of the chunk of gravel in my right palm, from a bike accident where I nearly put a hold all the way through my hand. It amuses me terribly and is a record of what a mad teenager I was.
4: You've a self-confessed fascination with vampires and more recently, with Lucius Malfoy. Is there a commonality between these two fascinations? If so, what is it and does this extend beyond these two?
There's definitely overlap between them, yes. Lots of beautiful, scary men usually. I've always been about the bad guys, the amoral characters, the darker side of the stories. It's an attraction to danger, I suppose. To a lot of the more unpleasant aspects of my own personality. I find a lot more interest in the internal conflicts and development of characters that make very bad choices.
5: And finally, what passions drive you, and why?
I'm very passionate about passion. About giving a damn, about knowledge, truth, beauty, freedom and love. Things more real than real, and things that have never been my real life. I want to live a lot of lives and that drives me pretty hard.
1. How does Malfoy communicate with you? How do you feel about your connection with your wizard?
The wizard has always been a part of me, long before I knew he was a wizard. He was a voice, a feeling in me. He talks a lot, in the back of my mind. It's like having running narration or an ongoing monologue. Sometimes I dream his dreams. We discuss things. We share likes and dislikes, we argue about what to wear and how long to keep my hair.
He's arrogant, cruel, manipulative, deceptive, difficult. He is not however, an evil man. Just a rather amoral one who has made a great many terrible choices. He has a lot of the awful qualities I have, and he's not ashamed of that. For all that he is mad and terrible, I love him very much. He is so very much mine, even if he bears someone else's name.
2. Describe an ideal day in your ideal life.
Not sleeping. Stretching out comfortably in bed, reading. Drinking iced tea, swimming, coming back home to shower and eat berries. Writing, showering, going out to Metro to meet my friends and drink coffee too late at night. Eating migas at 3am.
3. Who are your top 5 authors? (Poets and playwrights count.) How have they affected you?
Josef Skvorecky
Fydor Dostoevsky
Vladimir Nabokov
Edith Wharton
JRR Tolkien
All of those authors used language in brilliant ways, to both skewer and celebrate things they found in their lives. Tolkien gave me a world of fantasy as a child that I have never forgotten, Edith Wharton provided a brilliant dissection of social politics and the choices of living, Dostoevsky took my breath away with the power and passion of his grand stories, Nabokov rocked my world with his brilliant bilingualism and his wordplay, and Skvorecky took over my heart with the beauty of individuals set up against the backdrop of some of the most interesting history of the 20th century. Each one has inspired me, each one never fails to capitvate me.
4. What is the one goal you absolutely intend to achieve in your life? (Describe/explain)
Other than my intention to have a fur coat? I intend to get a PhD in something I love. Hopefully I'll do that at Columbia.
5. Do you believe in a god? Describe.
A difficult question even on good days. I believe there has to be something more to this very malleable reality. The nature of this I have yet to fully figure out for myself.
But I like the shower meme more than the usual surveys because it lets me see what sorts of things people are led to wonder about me from reading my journal.
1: You've had your fair share of let-downs, betrayals and downers, near-deaths and life-risks. You've tried a number of methods for dealing with the emotional fallout and have grown immensely since you've started your journal. What is it you do now to encourage peace in your life that seems the most successful to you?
I try to be a bit calmer. Try being the operative word. I'm working on not getting so worked up and feeling as if I have to be in control of everything. I try to balance the time I take for myself with time spent amongst friends, get more sun, and remember that I'm really ok most of the time.
2: I get the impression that you've changed so much over the course of this journal... What do you want to do and become in the future?
Ideally, I want to go into academia, teach, and become a published writer. I want to study more languages, improve the ones I know, travel to Russia. I want to wake up in the morning and know that somehow I've been as good to someone as my professors have been to me.
3: There's something about body markings, both accidental and intentional. You've likened the marks on your body to a record of your life. What physical markings are you now most proud of and why?
The one I'm most proud of would be my tattoo. It's become a major symbol for me, even if I never imagined that I would want to get a stylized Egyptian owl done on my ankle. But in ancient Egyptian, the owl is the letter M and a preposition meaning "into" or "through." It's about transition for me, and the owl is a traditional symbol of wisdom, so it's hope that I do end up with some down the road.
I am also strangely proud of the chunk of gravel in my right palm, from a bike accident where I nearly put a hold all the way through my hand. It amuses me terribly and is a record of what a mad teenager I was.
4: You've a self-confessed fascination with vampires and more recently, with Lucius Malfoy. Is there a commonality between these two fascinations? If so, what is it and does this extend beyond these two?
There's definitely overlap between them, yes. Lots of beautiful, scary men usually. I've always been about the bad guys, the amoral characters, the darker side of the stories. It's an attraction to danger, I suppose. To a lot of the more unpleasant aspects of my own personality. I find a lot more interest in the internal conflicts and development of characters that make very bad choices.
5: And finally, what passions drive you, and why?
I'm very passionate about passion. About giving a damn, about knowledge, truth, beauty, freedom and love. Things more real than real, and things that have never been my real life. I want to live a lot of lives and that drives me pretty hard.
1. How does Malfoy communicate with you? How do you feel about your connection with your wizard?
The wizard has always been a part of me, long before I knew he was a wizard. He was a voice, a feeling in me. He talks a lot, in the back of my mind. It's like having running narration or an ongoing monologue. Sometimes I dream his dreams. We discuss things. We share likes and dislikes, we argue about what to wear and how long to keep my hair.
He's arrogant, cruel, manipulative, deceptive, difficult. He is not however, an evil man. Just a rather amoral one who has made a great many terrible choices. He has a lot of the awful qualities I have, and he's not ashamed of that. For all that he is mad and terrible, I love him very much. He is so very much mine, even if he bears someone else's name.
2. Describe an ideal day in your ideal life.
Not sleeping. Stretching out comfortably in bed, reading. Drinking iced tea, swimming, coming back home to shower and eat berries. Writing, showering, going out to Metro to meet my friends and drink coffee too late at night. Eating migas at 3am.
3. Who are your top 5 authors? (Poets and playwrights count.) How have they affected you?
Josef Skvorecky
Fydor Dostoevsky
Vladimir Nabokov
Edith Wharton
JRR Tolkien
All of those authors used language in brilliant ways, to both skewer and celebrate things they found in their lives. Tolkien gave me a world of fantasy as a child that I have never forgotten, Edith Wharton provided a brilliant dissection of social politics and the choices of living, Dostoevsky took my breath away with the power and passion of his grand stories, Nabokov rocked my world with his brilliant bilingualism and his wordplay, and Skvorecky took over my heart with the beauty of individuals set up against the backdrop of some of the most interesting history of the 20th century. Each one has inspired me, each one never fails to capitvate me.
4. What is the one goal you absolutely intend to achieve in your life? (Describe/explain)
Other than my intention to have a fur coat? I intend to get a PhD in something I love. Hopefully I'll do that at Columbia.
5. Do you believe in a god? Describe.
A difficult question even on good days. I believe there has to be something more to this very malleable reality. The nature of this I have yet to fully figure out for myself.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 01:20 pm (UTC)i'm feelin all left out and shit...
Re:
Date: 2003-06-06 12:38 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-06 10:39 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-06 11:10 am (UTC)2. Have you ever ended a friendship or relationship because of differences in political/spirtual/social beliefs?
3. Name the things you will miss about Austin.
4. Who would you most like to work with in the music field and why?
5. Was there anything redeeming about working for PcO?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 01:25 pm (UTC)(I confess to being completely fascinated by your connection to fandom, and I appreciate your willingness to discuss your wizard.)
(And should you feel so inspired to ask me questions, please do so.) :)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 05:32 pm (UTC)(I'd missed reading bout the owl--that is so cool)
Thank-I>you.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 06:23 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-05 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 09:09 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-05 11:38 pm (UTC)Together we're cooler than most everyone. ;)
no subject
Alot of my friends have been doing this and I'd be very interested in what questions you could come up with.
Pleeeeaaaasssee??
Re:
Date: 2003-06-06 10:17 am (UTC)1. What drew you to New York in the first place?
2. Do you believe in love at first sight, or is that hokey romantic nonsense?
3. What one role would you most like to perform and why?
4. What did you want to be when you were five?
5. What do you do when you need peace of mind?
Re:
Date: 2003-06-06 10:28 am (UTC)