three (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threeplusfire) wrote2005-02-02 05:25 pm
threeplusfire) wrote2005-02-02 05:25 pm
(no subject)
I can't put my finger on what it is exactly, but I am low. It's probably some combination of period hormones, the bleeding, financial strain, lack of sunlight and brain overload. I'm not one of those people who "turns that frown upside down!" or any of that happy slappy bullshit. That sort of attitude generally makes me irritable and confrontational. It's the obvious falsehood of it that gets me. So I try to be aware of my moods, and what's causing them so I can do what I can to get around or through it.
I think part of it is that I did math today on my new salary, and a significant portion of the increase is being eaten up by that mandatory retirement contribution. That's a nice thing, especially as the State matches it and it's pretax. It's being saved away and isn't in danger of being eaten up by car repairs or medical bills or computer equipment or whatnot. Still. It's a chunk of change.
Even after the costs of insurance, retirement and that bloody damned Social Security/Medicare... which I will NEVER see any of ever especially if Shrub the Dodo pushes through his little agenda to privatize Social Security... Anyway, I'm still bring home a little bit more cash. And that's good. But it's not nearly as much as I wish it could be.
I'm not even 25 and I'm so sick of money. It just makes me so irritable that any arbitrary system of value on pieces of ugly paper controls so much of my life. I hate it. I hate that I need money. To be fair, I should note that I am completely unwilling to become a filthy vagrant and live without money so I can't hate it that much. I suppose I just hate the frustration of having to worry about it all the freaking time. I hate that when we're grocery shoping I'm always forcing Alan to put things down and get some generic equivalent so we can save thirty cents or a dollar. I hate that I need to think about it.
Would our freaking W2s get here already? I want to do the freaking taxes and not have that hanging over my head. Argh.
I didn't realize I was quite so cranky until I started typing and had to erase a half page screed about that damned guy on the corner who bangs on my car window and makes rude gestures if I won't give him $5. Ouch. I think I'm going to blame my fits of rage and near tears on the hormonal surges.
I think part of it is that I did math today on my new salary, and a significant portion of the increase is being eaten up by that mandatory retirement contribution. That's a nice thing, especially as the State matches it and it's pretax. It's being saved away and isn't in danger of being eaten up by car repairs or medical bills or computer equipment or whatnot. Still. It's a chunk of change.
Even after the costs of insurance, retirement and that bloody damned Social Security/Medicare... which I will NEVER see any of ever especially if Shrub the Dodo pushes through his little agenda to privatize Social Security... Anyway, I'm still bring home a little bit more cash. And that's good. But it's not nearly as much as I wish it could be.
I'm not even 25 and I'm so sick of money. It just makes me so irritable that any arbitrary system of value on pieces of ugly paper controls so much of my life. I hate it. I hate that I need money. To be fair, I should note that I am completely unwilling to become a filthy vagrant and live without money so I can't hate it that much. I suppose I just hate the frustration of having to worry about it all the freaking time. I hate that when we're grocery shoping I'm always forcing Alan to put things down and get some generic equivalent so we can save thirty cents or a dollar. I hate that I need to think about it.
Would our freaking W2s get here already? I want to do the freaking taxes and not have that hanging over my head. Argh.
I didn't realize I was quite so cranky until I started typing and had to erase a half page screed about that damned guy on the corner who bangs on my car window and makes rude gestures if I won't give him $5. Ouch. I think I'm going to blame my fits of rage and near tears on the hormonal surges.
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it must be the dregs of winter... i need to go sit under a lamp, or something.
feel better, please - spring is coming soon!
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Sorry, but...
Re: Sorry, but...
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It was pretty funny, the entire hallway filled with poptart smoke.
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I didn't realize I was quite so cranky until I started typing and had to erase a half page screed about that damned guy on the corner who bangs on my car window and makes rude gestures if I won't give him $5.
Is that the guy at the corner of 183 and 35? I always hated that dude, for that very reason.
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My boyfriend hates exactly what you do about being poor, worrying about the price of goddamned groceries.
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I miss the cheap, non commercially farmed European strawberries. Damn.
Money
BUT... I think for a careful person, it can take away a lot of fucking stress...
Re: Money
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I think you and I have very similar approaches to these things... I get all snippy and pissed off about having to buy generic everything. Sometimes, y'know, I'd really like to buy Heinz ketchup for a change...
And now this bit with social security? He's braver or more foolish than I thought. I've accepted that I'll never see any of the money I contribute to my social insurance program up here. It pisses me off, but what can I do about it? S'okay. I plan on embarking on a life of clandestine crime.
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