in the words of Miss Sarah, a fine young lady

[threeplusfire]

I've decided that this whole no smoking in public places nonsense is a vegan hippie plot to take over the country. See, it works like this. They kick us outside to smoke in the winter. Our weakened lungs succumb to pneumonia and we all die. Then they take over and rename the place The United States of PETA and live happily in their utopia, which is subsequently over populated by cows and other tasty wildlife. But they don't care because they love cows and cows make them happy. In the meantime, I'm freezing my ass off and praying that the newly rejuvenated effort to ban smoking in all public places doesn't take hold. I've already lost my coffee shop. I don't want to lose my entire social life.

Vegan hippies make me want to eat lots of steak. Better, veal. Smothered in eggs. Wrapped in bacon. Garnished with non-dolphin safe tuna. And served on a leather coat. Just out of spite.

I couldn't agree more. Bwahahahaha.

I do hope Miss Sarah will not be offended if I take liberties and quote her in my journal. She is a most forthright and nice young lady, in the parlance of the 18th century. Reading her post this morning dispelled the gloom of my nightmares.

Comments

[alainn-sorcha.livejournal.com]

Of course I don't mind. I'm glad my ranting could bring a little joy to your day. :)

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

A bumper crop of joy really. I nearly inhaled my coffee through my nose. :D

[calledmara.livejournal.com]

OK, I don't smoke. And lord knows I hate coming home from the diner/bar/bowling alley/restaurant/coffeeshop/etc with my cute vintage dryclean only clothes smelling like smoke. But the smoking ban is bad bad news.

They just enacted the ban in C-bus, as in it started this week. I have several friends who work at bars, two who own bars. They are scared to death. Everyone kept saying, it hasn't hurt New York. Umm, we are not New York! We are Columbus, a land without tourists crawling all over despite our fine replica of the Santa Maria down on the river! Toledo, our neighbor in north Ohio has had dire economic consequences due to their smoking ban and is now trying to reverse it in some way.

My friend Oli is a bar manager at the oldest lesbian-owned lesbian bar in the Midwest, one of the oldest in the US. Their till has dropped to half of what they usually make. They made $76 yesterday, usually they would make a bit over $200. If anyone is caught smoking she gets fined $150.00 and a misdemeanor on her record. How does that make sense. Since she is paid under the table, if the bar doesn't make enough money she won't be paid. This bar is operating at the level of one bar tender at a time already, so it can't just lay people off.

Besides, it's not like there were all these party animals at home just waiting for the ban so they could come out and rock without the OPPRESSIVE SMOKE!

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

It makes me so angry. If someone wants a freaking nonsmoking bar they can open one up, instead of forcing everyone else to kotow to their whims.

The economic impact is so distressing.

[puella.livejournal.com]

Actually a lot of vegans aren't animal-lovers, they just do it so they can avoid purchasing from huge opressive industries, just like people who don't want to buy clothes made in sweatshops. The beef industry doesn't only hurt cows.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

This was a generalization and a bit humor, and as such doesn't cover the complexity of the issue. It perhaps might have been more correct to say "self-righteous holier-than-thou PETA vegans."

It's really part of an absurd long running joke between us.

[frostwalrus.livejournal.com]

That is hilarious, I knew I liked Sarah for a reason. Together we can dine on the steak and etc.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Exactly! I think we should go have a feast of meats and wear leather now.

[alainn-sorcha.livejournal.com]

Steaks and tattoos.

We are xxhardcorexx.

[frostwalrus.livejournal.com]

Exactly, still holding on to my money in a sock, let me know when you are ready.

[n-o-m-i-c.livejournal.com]

veal. Smothered in eggs. Wrapped in bacon. Garnished with non-dolphin safe tuna. And served on a leather coat. Just out of spite.

MmmmmmMmmmmm. I know what I'm having for dinner.

That was hilarious.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

It was really fantastic. :D