addendum

[threeplusfire]

One of the reasons why I was called a bad friend was that I did not call for weeks.

For the people that know me, I have always been like this. Weeks or months of intense contact, and then weeks or months of sporadic contact. I have always been that way. I am sad that it seems uncaring or undevoted to some people, but that is just how I am. I haven't talked to Gene but three times so far this year, but I still feel like he is one of my close friends. Melynda and I will go weeks without speaking. Kevin and I don't talk for months at a time. But when we pick up the phone, we're right back together.

I'm bad about initiating contact, I admit. I'm still working off years of shyness. I cycle through periods of social behavior and periods of reclusiveness. I don't think it is all that unusual. Is it wrong to ask others to accept that? I don't know.

Comments

[eleanor.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's wrong to act others to accept it, but one does have to realize that at times others will become vexed. I do much the same thing, especially when I'm stressed/have things I don't want to talk about/am sure that the things happening in my life are things the other person will not want to hear about or know how to cope with. I try to identify it (an e-mail saying "sorry I've been so busy, will call when I come up for air" or "I'm going through things I don't want to talk about and will give a call when I feel human") to reassure the other person that I'm not snubbing him or her, and I know that some people will think I'm flakey.

This assumes, of course, that neither person is expected to always take 100% responsibility to initiate contact.