threeplusfire | (no subject)

Mmmmmm, Gerard Butler.

Still in the planning stages of an entry on why I don't like to associate with the poly crowd because so many people have this nasty, self righteous attitude about their preferences. I don't like the "I'm so much more enlightened than you because I fuck lots of people" vibe that I find all too often. That's so much crap. Just admit that you like to sleep around and be done with it instead of pretending it makes you more capable of love than a person who only has one partner. Sheesh.

I'm a little torn here. On the one hand, I absolutely agree with you. There are many poly "groups" and "scenes" that are assholes and self righteous about it. But no more, I think, than any group that has chosen a specific trait about themselves with which to represent themselves as a community. Hell, go to any community about a television program and you'll find people self-righteously defending their right to watch the "Kojak" remake . . .

But I feel your words towards non-monogomous people were unecessarily harsh. No, a person is not more enlightened than another person because they choose to have more than one partner. I personally don't identify as poly because I don't feel it accurately describes my lifestyle, but I'm not far off. I live my life in the way that best suits my heart and my sexual desires. I am honest and forthright with my partners, and do not keep secrets from them about my other lovers. I could argue about whether this behavior was "chosen" or if I was "born with it" but I don't because I don't feel the need to say the same about my bisexuality either. And while my desires in particular are more fluid than some, I know that I don't fit into most monogomous relationships. And I don't think it's just because I "like to sleep around." If you feel otherwise you may say so.

Whether it's a family structure for some, a romantic structure for others, I fail to see why people taking pride in a succesful relationship should be cause for scorn. And no, it doesn't make people more capable of love, but occasionally it's a relationship structure that allows people to live an honest and fulfilling life.

While it may not have been your intention to put down the lifestyle directly, I felt uncomfortable reading it. If someone's an asshole, call them an asshole. But let it end there, ya know?