twenty reasons to scroll by

[threeplusfire]

I figure if violetisblue can do it, then I can do it.

1. I am too ruddy short to be an astronaut, and this causes me grief even though flying and heights frighten me more than I like to admit. I want to go to Mars, damn it all!

2. I would be a raging alcoholic if I let myself. It's in the blood, a long family history. I'm very careful about it though. I didn't drink at all until I went to the Czech Republic. I can't say that I learned about drinking in moderation, but I learned not to be afraid of it. Still, I will never forget the summer that I was fourteen. I found myself very angry with my mother, and went immediately to the kitchen to pour a big glass of tea. While I was pouring the tea, I realized that I was mimicking my father's actions and it unsettled me.

3. I have not lost nearly as much weight as Melynda has since I started the no fast food and no sodas thing. This fills me with envy and despair.

4. Back in the mid 1990s, I served detention several times in middle school for not reciting the Pledge in home room. I wish I could claim some noble purpose to it, but I was a contrary and awful 12 year old. That was back in my staunchly anti-everything days.

5. I like girls who look like boys, and boys who look like girls. I'm often disappointed that I'm not really a boy. I don't know if this says anything valuable about me or not.

6. Currently I live in one room in my mother's home, with all my books stacked up to level of the little twin bed. It's rather crowded. Living back in my mother's home makes me feel very awkward about a number of things. I look forward to having my own place again.

7. There is a dime size piece of gravel embedded in my palm for all eternity. Nasty bike accident when I was younger. The damn thing has been in there for over a decade now, and that really creeps me out.

8. One of my most favorite meals in the world is absurd comfort food from Luby's. I eat the same thing ever single time and have done so for about 20 years now. Why mess with a good thing? I get the fried fish, two servings of macaroni and cheese, a dinner roll and a slice of chocolate ice box pie. Sometimes I get adventurous and have the fried okra. But this is one of the two places on earth where I eat macaroni and cheese, so I eat all I can. It tastes just like my grandma's.

9. There are three plush Marshmallow Peeps on my desk at work. I love the Peeps. I wrote numerous letters to the company begging them to send more of their products to Texas markets back when I was 16 or so. I love to write letters to companies, either complaints or praise for some product. I wrote an extremely impassioned letter to Frito Lay once about a stale bag of Cheetos. I got a lot of free chips that time.

10. I don't suppose I've ever experienced the casual sort of dating that other people take for granted. My relationships for the most part have been long term, serious affairs. I tried to be daring and casual and single, and ended up engaged. Now that I'm getting divorced I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to casual date.

11. I refer to all horses as ponies, even though I know better. I confess that it is partially due to my greatgrandmother's stories and partially because I'm being obnoxious. That said, I still want a team of polo ponies.

12. I have been profoundly self conscious about my socio-economic background for too many years to count. I hated being the poor kid. Now that I'm clawing my way into the middle class, I feel strangely guilty.

13. For many years, I was miserable at the thought of Texas and my identity as someone born in this state. I felt we were doomed. These days, I find myself profoundly angry every time I hear someone bad mouth my state, refer to us all as ignorant rednecks, etc. Yes, there are some backwards people in Texas and awful things. But hey, Matthew Sheppard wasn't killed in Texas, and there are ugly things everywhere. Stop insulting my state. There are so many good and wonderful things and people here.

14. The next time someone refers to me as a gun nut or trigger happy lunatic, I just might shoot them. I realize this won't help my point that all people who own guns and support the right to own guns, but damn it. This is another thing that gets me so damned angry. I should probably go back to the firing range.

15. I promise to buy Tyler a motorcycle if I ever win the lottery. This has actually made me consider buying a lottery ticket this week, mostly because Tyler's brain would melt if I did win.

16. The only thing I don't think I will ever eat again is sea urchin. Looks too much like a tiny human brain.

17. I actually started writing this to kill the last fifteen minutes of my shift and now I'm here fifteen minutes later than I intended to be. No home internet makes me cranky.

18. My first car was a 1978 Chrylser LeBaron with a vinyl top. It was gold, and had a working 8 track deck. One of my father's close friends gave me an entire box of 8 tracks to listen to, so I drove around with the Steely Dan, Alice Cooper and the Eagles playing. The 8 track worked much more reliably than the engine, truth be told. I hated and loved that car.

19. Some days, I just want to keep driving. I don't know where I would go or what I would do. But from time to time, the urge is so strong that I usually have to pull over and put my head in my hands or smoke a cigarette before it stops. I find myself thinking about pulling all my money out of the bank and disappearing.

20. I spend way too much time talking to the wizards and all the other RPG characters I've created. I have a lot of running dialogue in the back of my mind. I am sad sometimes that they are not real.

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[tsarina.livejournal.com]

You can't go wrong with a rhino. My peeps are lined up under my cupcake posters for maximum joy.