three (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
threeplusfire) wrote2001-06-30 01:28 pm
threeplusfire) wrote2001-06-30 01:28 pm
ten Our Fathers and ten Hail Marys
I went to listen to Father Jerome celebrate Mass today in the Infant of Prague cathedral. Also to Confession, because it has been months and I felt the need to unburden my soul to someone who might stand a better chance of understanding my personal litany of pain.
He was kind, even when I started to cry. We talked for a long time, and in the end when he absolved me I really did feel it.
Father Jerome advised me not to think so much. That's something I've been told by so many people in my life, my mother, my teachers, my friends. Only now, coming from a priest in a Prague cathedral, is it finally making sense.
Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with myself. Part of me wants this life I've dreamed of however indistinctly all my life. Finishing a PhD, becoming a professor, writing books, traveling, being someone like Hana in the end. Yet there is part of me that speaks sometimes in a quiet voice, a part of me that wants to leave and join a convent. Maybe teach in a Catholic school. I don't know.
He was kind, even when I started to cry. We talked for a long time, and in the end when he absolved me I really did feel it.
Father Jerome advised me not to think so much. That's something I've been told by so many people in my life, my mother, my teachers, my friends. Only now, coming from a priest in a Prague cathedral, is it finally making sense.
Sometimes I wonder what I am doing with myself. Part of me wants this life I've dreamed of however indistinctly all my life. Finishing a PhD, becoming a professor, writing books, traveling, being someone like Hana in the end. Yet there is part of me that speaks sometimes in a quiet voice, a part of me that wants to leave and join a convent. Maybe teach in a Catholic school. I don't know.
Re:
Sometimes I think I would make an awful nun. Too much attachment to things of this world. But sometimes I think it might be the best thing to do with myself. It certainly won't happen soon though.