there's no greater power than the power of goodbye

I heard that twice this morning in the car. Sometimes, it is easier if I don't think of it as myself, if I step back and watch things like a movie. Then, when the radio works and the soundtrack fits, everything is beautiful. Disassociation at its finest.

Father Keith is leaving, transferring to College Station. I'm sad he won't be here when I come back. Hopefully I will be back in time to see the new priest be ordained. I said many goodbyes this morning after Mass, to all the wonderful people there. Steve has promised me a spot on the RCIA team. When I come back, the wildflowers will probably be gone.

My mother made me cinnamon rolls this morning, instead of a birthday cake. This is better I think. Played with the new kitten, and my cats. I wish I could take them with me, for when I feel sad. My poor fluffy calico will be unhappy when I don't show up next weekend. I'm going to see them the day I leave though, since my mother is taking me to the airport. Once I give my car to Deb on Saturday morning, I'll have her drop me at my mother's house.

So many things I have to do. It's overwhelming.

(no subject)

I fell asleep and dreamed of a package sent from America, with magazines and batteries, to Czechoslovakia. Now I am disoriented.

"Well batteries must have power..."

A question in need of answers

So I'm using my journal in a weirdly public way. But what the hell... I'm torn at the moment.

If you had two recommendation letters from your all-time best professors sitting in sealed envelopes on your bookshelf, and the person in charge of the scholarship said you could open them and read them, would you?

Did I really see that?

A perfect night for X-Files, with lightning and storms outside. I sat on the floor in the dark. Cheering Skinner on in the FBI parking garage scene with Krychek. Jumping up into the air at the final ten minutes. Closure! Blessed closure! Wow!

Now I can stop being American and quit watching TV. Those final moments were all I ever wanted, after eight years of watching X-Files.