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Slept through twenty minutes of my alarm this morning, because in my dream I was having some long drawn out conversation. Put on clothes and left for church at my fastest speed ever. 5 minutes from bed to car.

But I made it, and got to see all of my friends at St Thomas More. The Sozas, Terri & his son, John, Father Elmer, Carol, Debra, all the smiling faces I missed in Prague. It's crazy how much I just missed smiling.

The Gospel this morning was the story of the good Samaritan, and Father Elmer spoke at length about how the church was more than just the word of God on high. It is about sharing our lives. It is about community, and being here for our neighbors, about giving our time and our hearts and our resources to helping each other. (Which is basically what I was saying to Kit last night at Mojos about why I felt happy in the Catholic Church) There was also a Rite of Welcoming for a new group of people enrolling in RCIA. As they stood in the aisles and the sponsors made the sign of the cross over them, I kept flashing back to where I stood two years ago. Steve took my number and said I'd get a call in a couple of weeks. They have another fifteen people coming into the program in September, and I will be sponsoring one of them on their faith journey. I'm so excited.

Visited my mom for a couple hours this morning. Helped her water the plants in the backyard, since she has hurt her back. Played with the kitties. Jacks is getting so big, he's a terror. Every now and then we would hear these terrible yowls when he would surprise one of the other cats. Later he slept curled up behind my knees on the couch.

Sadly, the divorce is not going as smoothly as I might have hoped. My father pulled some stupid thing where he is refusing to disclose his assets and debts in the divorce papers. Then he started calling my mother in the middle of the night, angry, drunk or both. He's even been showing up at the house. One morning he apparently scared my sister because he was crashing around in the kitchen. My mother had the locks changed, and he will probably flip out when he discovers this. Mom actually even said she was somewhat scared by his recent behaviour, and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. I'm scared too. I don't know what has happened to my father, what has changed so much to make him act this way. It's not the man I thought I knew.

I cried in the car driving home. It just hurts.

Time for something to eat. Maybe my big shiny tomato from the garden. Going to find something to read, have a quiet day.

too hot to sleep

Since I live with two other girls, some things are difficult. We were supposed to sit down tonight and talk about the household chores, the bills, etc. But one person decided she wanted nothing to do with it, and skipped out on us to hang out with her sister. Fine, spending time with family. It's just frustrating as hell to see someone older than me act like a seven year old about taking out the trash. Ugh. Why I am surrounded by people who exhibit the same vexing problems? Is everyone really that selfish?

So I missed a chance to have dinner with my mother because of this, and that is whay I'm upset. Not just because the girl left rotting milk in the fridge the entire time I was in Prague, or that she never once cleaned the apartment. *sigh* I miss living alone, I really do. It was so much nicer.

Sick and tired, hating the heat. A lurking headache, messy hair, dirty clothes. When it gets so hot I can't sleep. Just wind up restless and bored and short tempered, amongst other things. Maybe I'll take another cold shower and finish reading the new issue of Harpers. I just want to be clean and cold and sleeping.