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Dear -----,
Why didn't I think of Steinbeck before? It's all so clear now. Too many years since I read his books, but I remember the passage about the
turtle. I read that over and over in the back of the classroom in my last year of high school. Dark blue nail polish chipping off, a backpack stuffed with books that had nothing to do with my classes, adrift in a totally new high school two months before graduation. I felt like that turtle at the time.
Using H--- as the prodigal son... very interesting. Again, the story tugs at my curiousity. How long have you been working on this?
Does love define us? I've always found it hard to say just one thing could define a life, or a soul. Though for a long time, I believed my own failings and my own darkness defined me. They do, in a sense, illuminating parts of myself just as love does. We are so much more than one thing or one definition. Perhaps we are simply defined with
how we live with ourselves. The interaction of light and dark, shadows and stained glass.
You are quite right. It is important to always try.
Ahh... now the story of how this girl raised to be the perfect liberal Democractic atheist fell into the arms of the Church is a long strange story. I can tell it sometime, if you're interested.
I believe. I struggle with that faith, and I doubt. The normal condition, I suppose. I would make a poor saint, though sometimes I think I would be happier as a nun spending all my time talking to God.
Catholicism has been good to me. I'm not sure quite how to express the idea, but it fills something inside my head and inside my heart
that was empty before. I love the Church.
There are things that puzzle me, of course. Only allowing men to be priests, for one. Certain political issues. But, I am still very new at
all of this. Perhaps I do not know enough yet, and I have not had enough time to ponder these issues. It does not worry me overly much.
I am blessed to have a wonderful church in Austin, with kind priests and a strong sense of community. It means the world to me.
As for the N.I.N. references... those go back to my atheist teenage days, the life I used to have. There are still moments when I despair, and turn up the stereo. The music reminds me of the time in my life when some of the best and worst things happened to me, of growing up too fast. It's partly sentimental, because I feel so old at 21.
Honestly, I never expected to live this long. I chalk that up to God's sense of humor and mercy.
Reading Daylight into Nightclub Inferno at the moment. It's a collection of the new generation of Czech writers. Because, where do you go after Kundera? He's such a massive figure. Have you read any Kundera? What are you reading right now?
90 degrees at noon, with an uncertain blue grey sky. Enjoy your afternoon, even if it doesn't rain.
looking forward to your next letter,
Amanda
Why didn't I think of Steinbeck before? It's all so clear now. Too many years since I read his books, but I remember the passage about the
turtle. I read that over and over in the back of the classroom in my last year of high school. Dark blue nail polish chipping off, a backpack stuffed with books that had nothing to do with my classes, adrift in a totally new high school two months before graduation. I felt like that turtle at the time.
Using H--- as the prodigal son... very interesting. Again, the story tugs at my curiousity. How long have you been working on this?
Does love define us? I've always found it hard to say just one thing could define a life, or a soul. Though for a long time, I believed my own failings and my own darkness defined me. They do, in a sense, illuminating parts of myself just as love does. We are so much more than one thing or one definition. Perhaps we are simply defined with
how we live with ourselves. The interaction of light and dark, shadows and stained glass.
You are quite right. It is important to always try.
Ahh... now the story of how this girl raised to be the perfect liberal Democractic atheist fell into the arms of the Church is a long strange story. I can tell it sometime, if you're interested.
I believe. I struggle with that faith, and I doubt. The normal condition, I suppose. I would make a poor saint, though sometimes I think I would be happier as a nun spending all my time talking to God.
Catholicism has been good to me. I'm not sure quite how to express the idea, but it fills something inside my head and inside my heart
that was empty before. I love the Church.
There are things that puzzle me, of course. Only allowing men to be priests, for one. Certain political issues. But, I am still very new at
all of this. Perhaps I do not know enough yet, and I have not had enough time to ponder these issues. It does not worry me overly much.
I am blessed to have a wonderful church in Austin, with kind priests and a strong sense of community. It means the world to me.
As for the N.I.N. references... those go back to my atheist teenage days, the life I used to have. There are still moments when I despair, and turn up the stereo. The music reminds me of the time in my life when some of the best and worst things happened to me, of growing up too fast. It's partly sentimental, because I feel so old at 21.
Honestly, I never expected to live this long. I chalk that up to God's sense of humor and mercy.
Reading Daylight into Nightclub Inferno at the moment. It's a collection of the new generation of Czech writers. Because, where do you go after Kundera? He's such a massive figure. Have you read any Kundera? What are you reading right now?
90 degrees at noon, with an uncertain blue grey sky. Enjoy your afternoon, even if it doesn't rain.
looking forward to your next letter,
Amanda
