I used to stay up late listening to this song

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me, "For one time only,
make an exception." I am not worried
Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried I am not overly concerned
with the status of my emotions
"Oh," she says, "you're changing."
But we're always changing

It does not bother me to say this isn't love
Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love
And I guess I'm going to have to live with that
But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey,
Something in between,
And I can always change my name
If that's what you mean

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
But I am not really worried I am not overly concerned
You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself
To make yourself forget I am not worried
"If it's love," she said, "then we're going to have to think about the consequences."
She can't stop shaking
I can't stop touching her and...

This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind
"These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days," she says
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing

But I'm not going to break and I'm not going to worry about it anymore
I'm not going to bend, and I'm not going to break and I'm not going to worry about it anymore
It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."
But it's not all that easy so maybe I should
Snap her up in a butterfly net
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried I've done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...

The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and Anna begins to change my mind
And everytime she sneezes I believe it's love and
Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

She's talking in her sleep
It's keeping me awake and Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand and
Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

Her kindness bangs a gong
It's moving me along and Anna begins to fade away
It's chasing me away
She disappears and
Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

-Adam Duritz

(no subject)

Just saw a preview for Ballistic with Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas that looks like great afternoon brain candy. I've been trying to keep my mind occupied with cards and sci-fi novels and things without sharp edges. It's a reaction to the recent panic attacks, the impulse to shut down my brain. I have enough trouble sleeping anyways.

Got yelled at by a Co-op parking lot attendant, played several rounds of cards, saw my Metro coffee girl love Kim, read through the job listings in the Sunday paper, drank coffee, ate ice cream and goldfish crackers, smoked too much, listened to a couple Russian kids talk for about an hour in Metro, tried to get ahold of someone so I could get into the apartment and look for my Russian text books, watching one of the sad episodes of the X-Files. Such is my day.

I had forgotten how much I liked Radiskull. It's just so weird, and amusing in its way.