the weight of dreams

It only took me a pathetic twenty minutes to get my contacts in this morning. But on the upside of that, I think I've discovered a way to get them in with less fuss. Hope hope hope. It's a good thing I'm not working today. I wore them for about four hours yesterday, so I'll try to wear them longer today. I really wish I could find my silver sunglasses. I love those things.

I've had a lot of weird nightmares lately. They are all about Alan, about the old apartment. I'm trying to get something out, something I've forgotten, before he comes home. Last night in my dream he tried to rape me. It's all awful stuff. I wish they would stop, that this would just purge itself out of my system.

Last night I wrote for awhile in bed, beginning the story. I know how it starts now. I know how the structure of the thing will be. Now I just need to do battle with dialogue.