closets, belongings, boxes

I've spent the past hour and a half cleaning out my closet, then trying to fix the mess I made of my room by putting the closet in order. For the record I own thirteen pairs of Wearable Sculpture earrings, one ring, three necklaces, one bracelet, eight pendants and one copper wrapped bead. A glittering beginning of what promises to eventually take over my entire bedroom table. I put open all the doors to try and air things out, but it was too hot already to leave them open for long. It's strange to see that it's such a small amount now. But I look at the couple hundred books I have piled haphazardly on my shelves, and it doesn't seem so small anymore. I have pictures I need to frame, and hang up. There's a whole box of DVDs sitting in the living room.

Anyways, I cleaned some more and threw out useless papers, expired things, trash, scribbles that I couldn't even remember. I started to cry when I found postcards Dae sent before my wedding. Landmines in everything. Cleaning out the closet is interesting. It feels like paring down my life, layer by layer. When I left Alan, I left things behind ultimately. Some things mattered, some of them didn't. Some of them I probably kept for a very long time without ever thinking why. I've had a lot of nightmares recently, about going back into that apartment and desperate searching for something I've forgotten, something I can't bear to leave behind. It's a little funny to think I once occupied an apartment and had enough things to fill every room and every closet. I own five pieces of furniture these days, just enough to fill my bedroom. I have four boxes in my closet, two of which are filled with all the sutffed animals I can't make myself let go. Yes, stuffed animals. Hah! But I do, and what I really miss is the stuffed dinosaur that I got for Christmas one year that had different colored legs because I think one of the dogs chewed on him before he made it to me.

Right now I need to shower away the sweat and dust. Then I should probably leave the house for awhile. The weirdest thing about cleaning the closet was finding four decks of cards, some of them unopened.

(no subject)

My mother gave me a tiny hibiscus plant today. It's soaking in the sink before I ensconce it on the porch. I hope that it grows enough to discover what color flowers it will have. I also came home with a box I'm profoundly grateful to have. It hold a number of little things I've not seen in some time, things precious to me. The music box, the wooden animals that Michael bought me, the pewter dragon, a number of other little shiny and delicate things. Clearly I'm going to have to organize my table yet again to find places for all of them. I found my treasured copy of Kevin's Little Billy, as funny today as it was ten years ago. Gods above, we made that ten fracking years ago.

CBS ran the first episode of Brotherhood, which I suppose must have been edited for regular channels but is still interesting.

slytherin apologist

This world is so screwed. I just read something I refuse to even link to because I don't want to send anyone to see the stupid bitch and increase her pageviews. But this is the second time I've been called "childish" this week for pointing out that someone's opinion is not a bloody fact. But you know, this country is doomed if this is the quality of person our educational system is churning out to breed like pigs and vote with their beer guts. I'm an arrogant, vicious harpy liberal bitch when I say this but these people should all be forcibly removed from the gene pool. This level of ignorance is dangerous. (Just look at our leadership for a taste.)

For the record, child protective agencies are not "for profit" and don't make fucking money off removing kids from abusive parents. Anyone who believes such an idiotic statement should be shot. Gah.