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tell me goodbye
Sep. 3rd, 2013 10:10 pmI genuinely do not know what we would have done without the kindness of my father's former coworkers. Some of the guys came to the apartment today, with a big flat bed work truck. They loaded everything, making two trips for us. There is no way in hell I would have been able to physically shift all that stuff, even with Mike. Not to mention having a vehicle that would hold everything.
The only thing getting me through this is the kindness and care of other people. My father's friends who helped me shift things and arranged the wake on Saturday. My friends who brought me food, drove me places, listened to me, bought me drinks at the bar. Mike, who has done so much work while I stood there being crazy and lost and overwhelmed. Everyone who has commented on the posts here or emailed me. You guys have been with me here for thirteen years now and you've seen me at every stage of every crazy, out of control moment of joy and despair and you're still here. Thank you. I know it is so hard to think of anything to say. Every little digital letter was a glowing sign to a world I could get back to, eventually.
Today we found a lawyer to help handle all the goddamned paperwork involved with death. Hint, it's crazy. Don't die. There's too much work involved in it. If you are going to die, make sure you have a will or someone knows what to do.
We also picked up my father's guitar from the music store.
He put it up for consignment last year. The guy at the shop said it attracted a lot of attention but it is an expensive instrument. From 1950, an original Epiphone Emperor Regent with hand cut inlays in the neck. The guitar is actually older than my father. Maybe I'll relearn to play on it. Maybe I'll just make Mike cover my favorite 70's rock songs on it. Someone owed him money, and gave him a guitar instead. He kept it all these years. I wonder if he ever played it. Like so many things, I have no answer.
Right now I'm just listening to my favorite K-Pop songs while I calm down for bed. My sleep is full of nightmares and broken by waking up to worry about things that need to be done. I'm so tired. I can't wait to get on a plane and not have anything to do for a few hours on Thursday.
The only thing getting me through this is the kindness and care of other people. My father's friends who helped me shift things and arranged the wake on Saturday. My friends who brought me food, drove me places, listened to me, bought me drinks at the bar. Mike, who has done so much work while I stood there being crazy and lost and overwhelmed. Everyone who has commented on the posts here or emailed me. You guys have been with me here for thirteen years now and you've seen me at every stage of every crazy, out of control moment of joy and despair and you're still here. Thank you. I know it is so hard to think of anything to say. Every little digital letter was a glowing sign to a world I could get back to, eventually.
Today we found a lawyer to help handle all the goddamned paperwork involved with death. Hint, it's crazy. Don't die. There's too much work involved in it. If you are going to die, make sure you have a will or someone knows what to do.
We also picked up my father's guitar from the music store.
He put it up for consignment last year. The guy at the shop said it attracted a lot of attention but it is an expensive instrument. From 1950, an original Epiphone Emperor Regent with hand cut inlays in the neck. The guitar is actually older than my father. Maybe I'll relearn to play on it. Maybe I'll just make Mike cover my favorite 70's rock songs on it. Someone owed him money, and gave him a guitar instead. He kept it all these years. I wonder if he ever played it. Like so many things, I have no answer.
Right now I'm just listening to my favorite K-Pop songs while I calm down for bed. My sleep is full of nightmares and broken by waking up to worry about things that need to be done. I'm so tired. I can't wait to get on a plane and not have anything to do for a few hours on Thursday.