threeplusfire: (crystal ball)
[personal profile] threeplusfire
Just. Stop.

The world inside me keeps me apart. I would give a lot to know just how it is people see me, what they experience from the other side. Because I've realized so much of what I do just doesn't translate.

Like knowing someone for years and not truly knowing. Understanding proves so elusive.

How well can you see me? How well do you know who and what I am? Not just the trivia that makes up pop quizzes, or how long I've had these boots on, or what movie makes me cry. How well can you see why I move the way I do? Do you understand the altered vocabulary in my head, how the meanings and nuances are shifted?

I don't expect anyone to. It's like asking someone to become something completely different. Now I just hope for a good translation.

Because you aren't here, you aren't here when I am myself. ...I think she's just pieces of me you've never seen...

I am discovering how to live with myself.

Date: 2001-11-14 09:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinywarrior.livejournal.com
I see a girl with beautiful dark hair and giant moss green eyes. I see a child who wants to cling to the memory of the best parts of her past. I see a girl who wears her tattoos on the inside of her body, traced in black irasible ink that tell stories of contained rage and bitter disappointments. I see a girl whose smiles are tentative at their beginnings and make me think of the Spanish word alba...daybreak. I see a girl made for hugs, babies, and big love. I see a girl who needs rituals in her life, both grand and subtle; a girl who finds comfort in familiar patterns, textures, scents. I see a girl who holds much of herself in, cloistered, for fear that she will spill out and not find her way back. I see a girl whose laughter is throaty and warm. I see a girl with a talent for secret words and unfamiliar sounds rolling off her tongue. I see a girl who sometimes doubts that passion in all things is her birthright. I see a girl who is kind and fiercely loyal. I see you, Amanda. Perhaps just pieces of you...but, oh how they do glitter and sparkle like the precious gifts that they are.

No more to say

Date: 2001-11-14 10:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raindog.livejournal.com
You and Amanda truly bless one another.

Re: No more to say

Date: 2001-11-14 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsarina.livejournal.com
Indeed.

Your eloquence is divine

Date: 2001-11-14 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsarina.livejournal.com
Oh Cate. Thank you. Thank you for all that you are. That means so much to me, more than I can say in any language I know.

I will keep that always with me, to remind me of all the things I sometimes can't see from this side.

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