there is nothing left to say

[threeplusfire]

Just. Stop.

The world inside me keeps me apart. I would give a lot to know just how it is people see me, what they experience from the other side. Because I've realized so much of what I do just doesn't translate.

Like knowing someone for years and not truly knowing. Understanding proves so elusive.

How well can you see me? How well do you know who and what I am? Not just the trivia that makes up pop quizzes, or how long I've had these boots on, or what movie makes me cry. How well can you see why I move the way I do? Do you understand the altered vocabulary in my head, how the meanings and nuances are shifted?

I don't expect anyone to. It's like asking someone to become something completely different. Now I just hope for a good translation.

Because you aren't here, you aren't here when I am myself. ...I think she's just pieces of me you've never seen...

I am discovering how to live with myself.

Comments

Your eloquence is divine

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Oh Cate. Thank you. Thank you for all that you are. That means so much to me, more than I can say in any language I know.

I will keep that always with me, to remind me of all the things I sometimes can't see from this side.