la madeline

[threeplusfire]

Went out to lunch today with Karen, and then for coffee. We had a good time and talked a lot about all kinds of stuff. There was a time when I thought I wasn't ever going to be able to do that again. Maybe it's a side effect of growing up and realizing just how messed up I was, how messed up the situations were, and all the crap that happened in 2001. I feel like there's no point to holding on to any of that anymore.

Only one cigarette so far today. I am working my way down to around half a dozen a day. No more smoking in the mornings, I think. I'm not sure I'm ready to quit entirely, but I am trying to smoke less. I won't be able to wuit entirely until I get an exercise routine going, because I don't need to put on another twenty pounds.

Tsar Slate is meowing at me, so I must go pet the kitty before he jumps into the middle of my desk.

Comments

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

I've seen lots of photos. At the time I started smoking it was entirely a self destructive impulse, so it didn't phase me much. My grandfather died from lung cancer after all.

I think a lot of the reason I didn't take well to advice was that most of it was passed off in a self righteous manner. I mean, yes I knew I was doing something very bad for me. It's got to be a change I make on my own though or it won't stick. I am cranky about such things I suppose and don't take well to lectures.

So it progresses. I think it will take a bit to stop smoking entirely, simply because Alan smokes a lot. I have to wait until he's ready to cut down as well, or we will just argue about it. That's okay though. We'll work on it over time.