this is real

[threeplusfire]

I had my first suicidal caller today, about two hours ago. It was an older woman who just wanted to die. She felt her life was hopeless, and that all the people who loved her were gone. Her daughter died, and her son was murdered, and she had nowhere to go.

My hands shook so badly when she first wailed it out. I spent nearly an hour on the line, until law enforcement arrived. Someone sat with me, and I had supervisors running around trying to track down the address and get the police out immediately.

It was terrifying.

I should be glad that I was able to talk to her. I should be glad that I got things rolling so she can help. But I still feel sick to my stomach. I had the life of a stranger in my hands for that hour, it felt like and I was so afraid that she would hang up.

Comments

[sammka.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

You are a hero.

[rawumber.livejournal.com]

[hugs hon]


It is hard to sit with that level of despair. Were you able to talk to your supervisor about it afterwards? Just to process? Mine always told me to do something to remember I was alive after these type of days.

Well, back when I had a good supervisor.

[ladypeculiar.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's so hard. Love to you, darlin.

[patashoqua.livejournal.com]

You are really brave (not just for this, more sort of in general) and what you do is really fucking important. I'm sure you know all that, I'm just sort of in awe here.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but she didn't - and people got there, and things will be taken care of... and it's all because of you.

Don't ever forget that. :)

[siria.livejournal.com]

You are amazing, you really are.

[alainn-sorcha.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

But you helped her.

[todfox.livejournal.com]

Amanda saves the world (one woman's anyway) again!

[a311renegade.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't expect any less from the leader of the SKU Liberation Army :-)

smiles of understanding

[trueliminality.livejournal.com]

Though I am repeating what you have probably already heard quite a bit today… you were able to keep her on the line until help could get to her, that is the reason that she called you to begin with. She wanted one last chance to see if the world had enough good in it; you provided that to her.

Shaky as such can make you; you answered what she believed to be her last plea to the world…

*smiles of understanding*

Good job, girl!

[snaxxx.livejournal.com]

I know that must have been tough. I mentioned your episode to a co-worker who has helped develop "critical incident stress" protocols- she worked on the Luby's Massacre cleanup. She stated that if you can keep them on at least ten minutes, chances are pretty good. Glad to hear your supervisors had everything under control, but hope you've been debriefed as well.

*hugs*

luv ya gal, I'm here if you need anything!

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

All truly important things are tough. You kick butt.

[geoectomy.livejournal.com]

I'm so proud of you, still worried for you, and hoping you can find some semblance of balance again soon. This *was* a major thing. There's no doubt about it. I'm glad you were there, and I"m glad you were successful.