addendum

[threeplusfire]

One of the reasons why I was called a bad friend was that I did not call for weeks.

For the people that know me, I have always been like this. Weeks or months of intense contact, and then weeks or months of sporadic contact. I have always been that way. I am sad that it seems uncaring or undevoted to some people, but that is just how I am. I haven't talked to Gene but three times so far this year, but I still feel like he is one of my close friends. Melynda and I will go weeks without speaking. Kevin and I don't talk for months at a time. But when we pick up the phone, we're right back together.

I'm bad about initiating contact, I admit. I'm still working off years of shyness. I cycle through periods of social behavior and periods of reclusiveness. I don't think it is all that unusual. Is it wrong to ask others to accept that? I don't know.

Comments

[frostwalrus.livejournal.com]

It isn't wrong, I can be that way at times. Most of my friends now and accept this, but for some people, they need to be reminded that you are still there and still friends.

[eleanor.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's wrong to act others to accept it, but one does have to realize that at times others will become vexed. I do much the same thing, especially when I'm stressed/have things I don't want to talk about/am sure that the things happening in my life are things the other person will not want to hear about or know how to cope with. I try to identify it (an e-mail saying "sorry I've been so busy, will call when I come up for air" or "I'm going through things I don't want to talk about and will give a call when I feel human") to reassure the other person that I'm not snubbing him or her, and I know that some people will think I'm flakey.

This assumes, of course, that neither person is expected to always take 100% responsibility to initiate contact.

[seitvonzu.livejournal.com]

i'm like that. there are times i REFUSE to answer my telephone. there are times i haven't even spoken to my mother in weeks and weeks... but then times that i talk to her everyday. *hug*

[melyndabelinda.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I think the best friendships are the ones that don't require maintenance.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Is that because we are lazy? ;)